Wondering what Hillary Clinton is hiding in her emails?  They're all here!  But that's not what you're really looking for.  What difference, at this point, do they make?

No, you're wondering how you can follow her lead, to hide your sensitive information without destroying it.  To have a plausible excuse for why you did everything right, but undefined elements conspired against you.  To lie with a clear conscience...

...So that, when you hand over your backup, and authorities can't recover your files, you can say something like:

<s>"I can see now that it was, in hindsight, poor judgment to use an Irretrievable Backup Device to store all of my sensitive documents."</s>**

**sarcasm font may not display properly on some computers